Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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