Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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