He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Dick very happy bro
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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