I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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