I must be too annoying 4 u.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
