We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
