She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
BRING THE BAGELS
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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