I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I AM VODKA MAN
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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