Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
