Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
