So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize