I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
