new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
