Kiss
Puke
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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