I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
do herpes really smell.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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