you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
