I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
