2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Randomize
