I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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