Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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