I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
