Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize