I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
