the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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