goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
