I'm gonna have a badass scar
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
