Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
