Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
