I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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