This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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