Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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