question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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