Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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