for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
