If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
