dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
