Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize