he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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