there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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