Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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