sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
