Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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