remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Pants are for mortals
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize