It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
