You smell like stripper and shame
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
