I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
