I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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