i would punch a child for taco bell
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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