I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
