Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
