this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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