when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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