obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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