Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
