What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
