But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
