go do what you do best...puke behind churches
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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