Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Randomize
