There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
