K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
