well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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