It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
