my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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