Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You made out with two different species that night
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize